"Happiness depends upon ourselves"

– Aristotle

Hello everyone. I’m sorry I haven’t been posting for a while. A lot of things has happened and I’m trying to keep up… But I’m weak.. I feel like I’m about to break down. Again. Just the thought of having to go through the procedure with doctors, psychologists, therapists, and a daily dose of pills again… No. I won’t go that far again.

I’m sorry for complaining. I know there are people having a much worse reality than me. I know that. But I’m just… weak. I know I’m really lucky because I have a caring family and a wonderful boyfriend who would gladly carry me when I’m too weak to stand up on my own… I know that. But the truth is, there really are no one else who can save you from yourself. except yourself. and I’m weak. it’s frustrating.

Anyway. I’ll try to start blogging again when I’m feeling better. I’m going to a funeral next week so I’ll take it from there. After that I’ll try to figure everything out and decide what to do with everything.

I’m just so tired… There are sometimes I really wish I would have done it back then. Because back then I wasn’t thinking. But I was too naive. Maybe that was I good thing. I don’t know..


26 thoughts on “"Happiness depends upon ourselves"

  1. Hope you start to feel better because you’re a beautiful and very talented person, and it would be a waste to see it all gone!

    Just remember that things have to get worse before they get better :]

  2. I hope you feel better soon. I understand what you’re going through. I hope that you find the strength to keep your head up through it all, pretty lady. x

  3. Complaining? You’re not complaining! We all carry our own huge bags worth of thoughts, worries and emotions. Sometimes they’re heavier than others – and sometimes it helps to just put them on the ground for a while and relax.

    Don’t apologize.. Yes, some people may have it worse – but you’re not ”some people”.. You’re you. And you shouldn’t measure your happiness or sadness by how others may or may not have it going for them. You live YOUR life and that’s all you can relate to. Don’t worry your pretty little head with too many unnecessary troubles..

    I hope you feel better soon ❀
    I know exactly how you feel – except I never went through the whole medical procedure to feel better. I'm cheering for you! And I'll be looking forward to more posts in the future..

    • awh thank you so much for your support :* I really appreciate it. thank you for taking the time to writing this. it really made me think. thank you so much :*

  4. I’m sorry for being anon but i dont have a blog…
    You don’t have to apologise for not blogging or feeling down. Right now I’m the same, it’s terrible to be the cause of your own pain. Ask for help and take your time, even if it’s really hard and exhausting to be surrounded by doctors and worry your family…you are worth it!:)

    I hope you can find your own peace and happiness. You are strong, you can do it!

    Please, take lots of care!

    • Thank you so much for your comment. I really appreciate it. ❀ I'm doing my best to feel better. hopefully I'll manage to sort things out in my life soon. thank you for your support!

    • thank you sweetie ❀ I'm doing my best to feel better. Hopefully I will soon πŸ™‚ It's just that I've been really hurt by some of my closest friends recently, so I don't feel like I can trust anyone anymore… I know that there probably are people I can trust but I'm just too scared to actually do that. that's probably the hardest part. to have a tough time but you can't rely on anyone to help you because you're scared… ah silly me ^^;; but I'll try to sort things out. πŸ™‚ thank you for your support ❀

  5. Good luck!! ❀ I know how it feels 'cause I have go throw the same (and I think I will go it again…) I have always that same feeling: "why am I like this? I have friends and good family, but still I'm not feeling well~.."
    I support you 100%~ I hope you will get better!! ❀

    • Daisy-chan, thank you so much for your kind words! I’m sorry for my late reply. My blog has been down for maintenance for some time but I’ll start posting again soon πŸ™‚ I hope you will be feeling better soon too :*

  6. just take it one step at a time, one day at a time….the one thing i have learned recently is if someone doesn’t bother with you, then they are not worth your time and thoughts…just leave them behide…and if they don’t treat you with respect, even more so…nobody is allowed to make you unhappy! don’t feel silly about how you are feeling. you have all the right in the world to feel angry and upset, and you are allowed to work through it in your own way, you don’y have to feel pushed into anything….

    • Cesca, thank you so much for your comment. I know I shouldn’t care too much about these things.. I mean, I know some people will always put you down in life… but since I thought they were my friends I just feel so betrayed. I know I should just let it go, and I probably will do that someday… but right now I just want to be upset. I feel like you understand me somehow. πŸ™‚ so thank you so much for that. ❀

  7. it’s a pleasure…it really sucks when friends treat you with disrespect…it’s like people just do not care at all about anyone anymore. im sorry that you have to go through that, it’s not needed…we all have stress and pain and friends should support one another, not make life worse. maybe on the otherhand it needed to happen to show you that they were fake! they do not deserve such a great person as you! i hope there is someone that you can still trust to give you support right now. @-}-

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